Make Your Own Adventure

Remember these books?



Yea. I HATED them.

I mean, I get the delight of it all, in theory. "What will happen next?! You decide!! Oh goody! I won't be bored for at least twice as long as it takes to read a regular book!"

But personally, even when I was a kid, these books always smacked of such LAZINESS. You want to tell more than one story? Write more than one book. Make it a series (although, they did that with these books too, basically just switching out the plot premise every time and including the same CRAAZZZYYY twists. ugh.)

Now, though? I'm all about getting to flip the page, and immediately change the path I'm taking. This feeling may or may not have been prompted by another mini-panic attack within the last couple days in which I questioned my entire existence. Am I doing the right thing? Making the correct choices? What if everything I've done, the degrees, the internships, the moves, all of it, led to the wrong choice.

Terrifying.

To some extent, wishing your life were a Make Your Own Adventure book is pretty useless. Damaging. Sure, there are people who drop everything, abandon responsibility and claim drastic improvement. Maybe. But I'm a methodical, cautious creature, just like most everyone else. It all suddenly starts to race through my brain. "But you have rent! A signed agreement! A cat! Expensive kitchen gadgets!" And suddenly my brain is flooding and the room is spinning and inanimate objects are laughing at me and omg I just have to sit down and *eat* a *sandwich* and take a minute.

And then I'm back to square one. Reminding myself that security, and settling, and contentment is just as important.