Monday, November 30, 2009

Why Twilight Sucks Ass

The entry below was taken from another post on Oh No They Didn't (if you haven't heard of it before, just Google that phrase. It's my favorite celebrity gossip website.
Anyway, the post exactly sums up one of my main problems with the Twilight series - that it could not possibly be a more lousy influence on teenage girls, and what they consider to be romance and love and finding that special someone. Enjoy.


If you've suspected that there's something unhealthy about the relationship between Bella and Edward in the phenomenally successful Twilight series, then it turns out that you're exactly right. In fact, there are fifteen examples of unhealthiness.


According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.


Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.


* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."


* Make all of the decisions?
Check.


* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."


* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."


* Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.


These are some more signs of an abusive relationship.
Has your partner...
* Tried to isolate you from family or friends.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!


* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Check.


* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?


* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest.


* Scared you by driving recklessly.
Check.

* Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.


* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.


* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
Well, they are Mormon... (I know, I know, cheap shot.)


* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Check, wolf-boy.


According to the NDVH, "If you answered ‘yes' to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship." This list is fifteen.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Christmas

When I was a kid, this time of the year would be the worst for me. I was a Jewish kid, who didn't usually have a lot of Jewish friends, stuck in what seemed like Christian land x1000000 during the holidays. Everywhere you looked, there was Santa, and pine trees, and "O Holy Night" and shit. I was miserable.

And worse. My birthday is December 22nd, so it always got lumped in with the holidays. Winter meant my birthday ohandHannukahandnewyearsandkwanza and G-d knows what else. I couldn't even have my special time and it was being overshadowed by giant socks hung on mantels, and gross pink hams stuck all over with cloves, and eggnog, which has got to be the nastiest thing on the planet. No thanks.

Then when I got older, half of my friends had divorced parents, so the holidays meant they'd go running off somewhere ELSE and leave me alone for my birthday! Lissa, I'm looking at you!!!

It wasn't cool.

They had presents piled under a tree... we hardly ever got the religiously guaranteed 8. Now my parents very kindly still get me a gift certificate, which is lovely and I thank them. But it's no sipping-apple-cider and singing-carols-in-harmony.

Although, who am I kidding? My job and various bosses haven't been willing to consider giving me a holiday off since I was 22. So I'd be more bitter, missing that awesome stuff.

Then there's Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving. It was a quiet one this year... and I partially ruined it by getting a massive migraine just as we were preparing to sit down and eat. Within minutes, I couldn't think or function. And I worked 12 hours before that. You're probably saying "That's horrible! Sounds like one of the worst days ever!"

But I loved the crap out of it. People at work were in good moods, easygoing and laughing and having fun - the stories we put on air were a little softer, a little happier. Sure, there was the guts and gore that always comes with working in my field, and that's just how it goes, but things had a rosier tint. And they catered a full turkey dinner for lunch, so nobody went without tasting sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie and stuffing. It was lovely, and sweet, and I didn't mind being there one iota. It's weird to say, but it's true. I like what I do.

I may be bitter about not being in the religious majority in this country, and that will always be a teensy little issue, but I love what people become during the holidays. The warmth escapes just a little more... they look forward to seeing family, and welcoming new babies to the fold. They knit scarves and hats and bundle up to trudge through snow to grandma's house. I may live in a city where it never snows, but it gets chilly, and that's enough for me. I love walking outside at the end of the night and smelling fireplaces in the air. Roasted chesnuts... hot chocolate... mittens. They're all such wonderful things.

And people remember, at this time of year, to be grateful for all of it. It's a good thing to be grateful. I have learned to be more grateful - and not ridiculous over something I don't have, or something I'm not getting. Because really, I have all of it. I have love, and scarves, and hot cocoa. I have a roof over my head, and a fridge full of food, and a closet full of clothing. It would be absurd for me to wonder at something I lack. I lack nothing, and the holidays have all turned from bitterness to sweet.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

OSCAR TIME!

It's that time of year at the movies - when actors and actresses starve themselves, fatten up, crash diet, donut binge, spend hours in the makeup chair and don expensive prosthetics, play people with special needs, and do everything they fucking can to win a Golden Globe/Oscar/Spirit Award/Bafta/Palme d'freakin Or.

They work hard for that money, honey, and I LOVE IT. I love going to the movies, period, and these are the ones I'm most excited about in coming weeks:

"Precious" (I will weep, and I will love it)



"The Blind Side" (opened this weekend, Sandra Bullock's best box office yet)



"Alice in Wonderland" (Coming out after awards season, technically, but IDGAF)



"Cracks" (I'll watch anything with the incomparable Eva Green, and there's another cast member named Imogen Poots. Sold.)



"A Single Man (Julianne Moore. Colin mother-loving Firth. Matthew Goode. The scrumptious Lee Pace.)



And, finally, "Princess and the Frog." (Disney! Return to classic animation! Musical! Anika Noni Rose! New Orleans! Voodoo! Ack!!)

Make Your Own Adventure

Remember these books?

Photobucket

Yea. I HATED them.

I mean, I get the delight of it all, in theory. "What will happen next?! You decide!! Oh goody! I won't be bored for at least twice as long as it takes to read a regular book!"

But personally, even when I was a kid, these books always smacked of such LAZINESS. You want to tell more than one story? Write more than one book. Make it a series (although, they did that with these books too, basically just switching out the plot premise every time and including the same CRAAZZZYYY twists. ugh.)

Now, though? I'm all about getting to flip the page, and immediately change the path I'm taking. This feeling may or may not have been prompted by another mini-panic attack within the last couple days in which I questioned my entire existence. Am I doing the right thing? Making the correct choices? What if everything I've done, the degrees, the internships, the moves, all of it, led to the wrong choice.

Terrifying.

To some extent, wishing your life were a Make Your Own Adventure book is pretty useless. Damaging. Sure, there are people who drop everything, abandon responsibility and claim drastic improvement. Maybe. But I'm a methodical, cautious creature, just like most everyone else. It all suddenly starts to race through my brain. "But you have rent! A signed agreement! A cat! Expensive kitchen gadgets!" And suddenly my brain is flooding and the room is spinning and inanimate objects are laughing at me and omg I just have to sit down and *eat* a *sandwich* and take a minute.

And then I'm back to square one. Reminding myself that security, and settling, and contentment is just as important.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Upcoming events

My parents visit in a couple weeks, then I'm going to Vegas for my birthday, which I'm REALLY looking forward to. Then at the end of December my brother is visiting, and we'll try and get to some snowboarding if there's any snow to play in in Flagstaff. Please dear lord please.

2010 looks pretty damn promising too - so far there's SD, Hawaii, my best friend's wedding, possibly Norway/Sweden? Which is redonkulous to even think about. But it's a possibility. I also really, really want to make it to NYC sometime next year... I owe multiple people a visit, and the Broadway musicals at Gammage juuuuusssttt aren't doing it for me. Sorry, Broadway tour people. It's just not enough. I haven't seen In The Heights, or Title of Show, or Next to Normal, or dozens of other shows I NEED in my life! I just want to walk through Washington Square Park, eat a shawarma, and watch a chess master whup ass. This is a legit NYC fantasy of mine.

Travelling has always been an obsession of mine. I've gotten to do a good deal of it thanks to my family, and I'm extremely lucky in that respect, but I always want more. I want to see Italy again, and I want to check out Thailand, and Morocco, and Argentina. There are also closer spots I'd love to reconnect with... Seattle, Toronto, and I've always wanted to visit Vancouver. Mexico seems a little unsafe right now, but I've always had a blast down there. I want MORE.

I'm currently saving, three years in advance, for my 30th birthday trip. It will be epic. It will be legendary. It will either be Australia/New Zealand, or Thailand/Cambodia/Vietnam, or Spain/Portugal, or Argentina/Chile. Want to come with?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Things I'm Obsessed With

Chili-Infused Dark Chocolate

Community, Glee, and 30 Rock

Puppies

Steak

Middle-Eastern Drum Beats

Cashmere Sweaters

Baby Hugs (not just babies. babies hugging you. That first time they learn how to throw their arms around you and have it mean something.)

Liev Schreiber. I don't care that he's a dad. Read = DILF.

Sunsets

Tea. Iced, hot, any kind, anywhere.

High-Quality Acappella Music

A. In a non-stalkery way, honey.

Traveling. See = Turkey, Israel, Italy, Mexico, Vegas, NYC

Ed Helms. Rawr.

Intimate Concerts

Scarves

Headbands

Chocolate-Chip Cookies

Ferry Boats

Fog

Istanbul's Covered Bazaar

Woodfired Pizza

Wine

Belgian Beer

Super-Fancy Mattresses

Lavender Body Lotion

(This is a working list.)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

In love with a bloggess.

Writing a blog makes you more aware of things that are happening online. Lives being lived that you never knew existed, sometimes in such exquisite detail it makes you catch your breath, or laugh, or sob, or all of the above.

starfishenvy.typepad.com is one such thing, one such blog. The ultimate blog for me, actually. She's funny, and sweet, and smart, and her writing circles around a theme - yearning for a child. It's not an issue I can relate to - not yet, anyway, but as a woman I get all of it.
And it doesn't hurt that she has my dream career (one of them.) She's a TV writer, and it shows. It's equal parts introspection and observation... no pity, no excuses. She kinda rocks. A lot.

In other news, I subscribed to "Clean Eating" magazine today. Check it out if you haven't - every issue has at least a dozen recipes I'd love to try. This last issue had a recipe for spiced pumpkin mousse that had me swooning. But it requires a food processor. So maybe that's the next healthy-living purchase? I stayed focused and made good choices today. One day down, the rest of my life to go.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Adventures in Slow-cookery

Ah, the crock pot.

Put 8 ingredients in, wait 10 hours while the entire apartment begins to smell of your cooking prowess, and whamo: 1-dish dinner.

Simple, understated, home goodness. Sometimes.

My first attempt at a beef stew did not go well. Submerged with water dosed liberally with chicken stock mix, potates, and beans, it came out with an odd aftertaste that was almost synthetic. And then I had so much of the stuff left over that I couldn't justify just tossing it all away. Hence another three days of odd synthetic aftertaste.

This time I came in a little bit more prepared. We started with the standard packet of grocery-store stew beef, red potatoes, carrots, and celery. There was also a proper-sized container of beef broth from whole foods, and half a sweet onion.

I was also better armed with spices. My mom has a friend of a friend who closed his restaurant, so we all got two plastic bags full of spices like garlic powder, parsley, and bay leaves... which I would never bother paying for on its own, considering how rarely I use it. In went sea salt, garlic, two bay leaves, and parsley and thyme in liberal doses.

I also added a small can of condensed cream of mushroom soup. My mom said that makes all the difference, and she's the killer cook, so we do what she says. I was a little concerned about adding significant calorie content, but Campbell's has a low-sodium version that hardly altered the calories per serving. In went the soup... about three hours after the mix began boiling. It just disappeared into thin air, within the broth, and I had to remind myself I had put it there in the first place. The broth continued to be the same color and consistency. It was just weird.

And then the final step - my mom reminded me that I was making a stew, not a soup, and would therefore require a thickening element. For the third time today, I got out to my nearby Fry's and picked up cornstarch.

I am suspicious of cornstarch. It seems like it could be very close to... corn syrup? But is in fact something totally different? And is only 30 calories a serving. So I dissolved one tablespoon in cold water and added it to the boiling pot.

I checked back in an hour - no thickening. Blaming the continued high heat for any lack of reaction, I unplugged the pot, since A was going to be home in about 45 minutes, added yet another tablespoon, and waited not-so-patiently.

Nothing. But.

The "soup", as it were, tasted pretty killer, once I removed the limp translucent onion and two very tired bay leaves. We ate it with some Trader Joe's wild rice... and then headed off to chat with a good friend over hot tea at Barnes and Noble. And there's enough stew to also be dinner Wednesday night, and a couple of lunches.

There has been a week of meals crafted, and ready to go, with all ingredients in hand. Tomorrow: chicken lettuce wraps from Costco and red indian quinoa. I'm not totally sold on quinoa yet... I still like other grains so much better, like bulghur and durum and couscous. Which isn't technically a grain. But it IS technically delicious.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

It's Been A While

And I apologize for that!!

But *life* has been happening, and I'm not feeling guilty.

Finding out what works for me, and my weight, and my happiness, and my career etc. has been an ongoing and overwhelming process and I think I've made some serious strides. In the past month I've:

- Made a bigger committment to both pilates and general fitness

- Started seeing an acupuncturist

- Started planning my meals ahead of time, and with better care (OK, that starts tomorrow, but it freaking counts.)

- Done more for my mental health, including making some personal choices I won't go into detail over here. But trust me, it's good.

All good things. That being said, there hasn't been a significant amount of weight loss. That's a guess - because I don't weigh myself on a regular basis. I go with how my clothing fits, I think weighing is just fucking stupid. If I lose weight, I'll know, and I don't need to quantify it.

But I FEEL better... and that's pretty killer.

It's all a work in progress, but I'm making strides.